People are full of bad decisions
I am just another person. A broiling stew of chemical emotions. I've made a lot of bad decisions on these emotions, but never had I ever made the worse decision of my life. All of my poor decisions were somewhat, equivalent in their relative badness. I decided not to shower today, because I was lazy, and so I had somewhat of a down-trodden appearance, a bad decision. I decided to eat poorly, maybe some Taco Bell, also a bad decision. I let a few homework assignments slide, no big deal, but nonetheless, a bad decision. All of these are all equal in relative badness. What happens when your life becomes nothing but a series of equally bad decisions? If you take a step backward, you can see the whole picture.

People in your life are being hurt, because you lack respect for yourself. People that you love, so fucking much, and promised you would never hurt, are affected by your poor judgment. Your lack of self confidence radiates outwardly, slapping every nearby friend in the face, and you watch as they jolt back, and for some reason come back to you, because they love you. This has been my life ever since high school.

I miss so many of the good things, like our tree, or our retarded obsession with screaming "SHOTGUN WEDDING SHOTGUN WEDDING." I miss taking you for walks, but only if you're on the right side. Chivalry be damned, I love you're left hand in my right.

I've sacrificed so much on one gamble. How stupid can a person be to gamble their entire life's happiness on one thread. One, "grass may be greener" decision.

I'm going to work so hard to make it all right, because if I can't, I'm never going to be able to live with myself.

I love you.